I Do
by applesandcherries
Summary: Another case has ended badly and everyone has his or her own way to deal with it. VanDoren POV, SJ


Title: I do

Author: Sammy-girl

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine, not even the title.

Rating: PG-13, just to be save

Summary: Another case has ended badly and everyone has his or her own way to deal with it. VanDoren POV

A/N: I borrowed the title from one of Anastacia's songs ( I LOVE Anastacia! g), because I think it just fit. Well, the lyrics do, anyway. I enclosed the lyrics at the end, if anyone would like to read them, but I recommend, you just listen to the song. Oh, and if you have seen it in one of her amazing concerts, it will be even more fitting. ;)

A/N2: As you can see, the story is written in Paula VanDoren's POV, so it could set before the show or during it, as long as she was in it. I liked her, never understood why they had to get rid of her just like that...

Anyway, have fun reading!

-0-

It had been a bad day. She was the first to admit that.

Letting the day replay itself before her eyes, as she sat in her dark office, VanDoren sighed.

They had been searching for three days straight, to the point of total exhaustion, but they hadn't made it.

Little, 4-year-old Emma had been found 2 hours and 42 minutes ago, buried hurriedly in the backyard of her father's house, with a broken neck and too many bruises on the little body. Murdered by the person who was supposed to be her guardian.

The team had done everything in their power, but sometimes, it just wasn't enough.

VanDoren knew that this case had been especially hard on the team.

She had send them home, telling them to do the reports in the morning.

Agent Johnson had gone straight away, and she could understand the urge of the woman to get home as fast as possible, to enclose her son into her arms.

Taylor and the young Fitzgerald had followed soon after, saying they could use a few non-alcoholic drinks.

VanDoren had left Agent Spade to her report. The young woman had said she wanted to get it over and done with, not being able to sleep just yet anyway.

And Jack had locked himself away in his office, just like he always did after a bad case.

Sighing again and tiredly rubbing her eyes, Paula closed the open file, with the picture of the little girls smiling face, in front of her and got up. It was time for her to get home as well.

Grabbing her coat, she made her way to the elevator and waited for it to arrive.

After a moment, the doors opened with a _ding _and she stepped into it, pressing the button for the parking lot.

Lost in thought, she stepped out of it again, as she reached her destination.

The echo of her steps and the rummaging in her purse for her key, were the only sounds she could hear, until two familiar voices, from somewhere farther away, reached her ears.

Slowing her steps, she crept quietly nearer, even though she never meant to eavesdrop.

After a few more steps, they came into view and VanDoren stopped dead behind a dark blue SUV.

What she saw let her furrow her brows in quiet dissapointment and astonishment.

Jack Malone and Samantha Spade were holding each other in a tight embrace, until the blonde woman lifted her head and Jack let his lips come crashing onto hers passionately.

VanDoren's brows furrowed further and she was about to turn around, with the intention to speak an earnest word with Jack tomorrow, but something let her stop and take a closer look.

It were the tears that were streaming down both their faces.

A violent sob racked Samantha's body, and Jack tighened his hold around her slim frame, until the need for air became too necessary to ignore.

They parted slowly and another sob escaped the woman's throat, more tears falling onto her cheeks, which Jack's fingers softly brushed away, all the while trying to hold on to his own tears.

The scene she was just witnessing, let Paula VanDoren's heart sink, but this time not out of dissapointment in her colleagues.

Her feelings inceased, when she heard Samantha asking through a shuddered breath,

"Why, Jack? What has she ever done to deserve this? She didn't even know what evil meant, before she met it in the form of her own father." Another sob cracked through her lips. "What happened to this world? Was it ever meant to be this way?"

The tone of her voice, left VanDoren with the impression that little Emma herself could have asked this questions.

"Oh God, Jack...What is happening to us? What it happening with all those people?"

Jack's voice was a desperate whisper as he answered.

"I don't know, sweetheart. God, I don't know." He hugged her closer to his chest and they clung to each other, as if they were clinging to life itself. And maybe, Paula thought, maybe they were.

She left them standing there, left them to the solitude they both so desperately needed.

And as she quietly walked to her car, she asked herself, why? Yes, why did the little one have to die? Why do so many other children die such useless deaths? Why are there people out there, who can do such horrible things to such an innocent being? Why is there war all over the world?

There were so many questions, and not nearly enough answers.

But there was still hope, wasn't it? Hope, when they started tomorrow, to find the next one alive.

Paula VanDoren clung to that thought, as she steered her car home, like Samantha and Jack clung to each other.

-fin-

_Who are they anyway?  
__With their sticks and stones  
__Don't they know that we know?  
__There's a chill within their bones  
__They blame and they name  
__Make us feel so cold inside  
__But they cannot take us there cause we will fight_

_I think the world's gone crazy  
__I think the world's gone crazy  
__I think the world's gone crazy  
__I think the world's gone crazy_

_Chorus:_

_Who wants a love without anger and rage?  
__I do  
__Who wants a world where a kid can be safe?  
__I do  
__Who wants to pray for the end of the pain?  
__For the calm at the end of the day  
__Where there's not always more of the same  
__I do  
__Wanna breathe  
__Wanna move and not ever feel afraid  
__Wanna live in a place where the truth still finds a way  
__To rise and advise  
__And when everything is lies you break  
__Cause there's nowhere you can run and still feel safe_

_I think the world's gone crazy  
__I think the world's gone crazy  
__I think the world's gone crazy  
__I think the world's gone crazy_

_(Chorus)_

_I won't be part of something so obscene  
__I think I'm falling  
__But I won't be falling_

_(Repeat chorus)_


End file.
